The Whine-Wine Blog
Because every rant, rave or whine goes down better with a great glass of wine!!
Hello, I’m back. I took the summer off. I had so much weighing on me – work, the death of my biological mother, and so much more. I didn’t know what direction I wanted to go in, and quite frankly, I was tired. Not sleepy tired but bone-weary tired. The kind of tired you feel when you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.
So, I stopped everything. My mental health was in jeopardy. My confidence was waning. I wasn’t feeling like myself. I got still to figure out what I wanted most out of my life. I emphasis “my” life because, well, it’s mine. We all have those well-meaning friends who give you advice, all be it good advice, but it’s from their perspective, and it just doesn’t fit you. I had to close them out. I needed to figure this thing out on my own!
I also took several trips. I went to Phoenix for my niece’s graduation. I went to DC because one of my short stories got selected for a workshop with the prestigious Hurston/Wright Foundation. And I went to Paris.
In Paris, I found myself again or better, yet I became new. I discovered a whole new sense of being. But let me back up a bit. My decision to go to Paris was a gut reaction. I follow a couple of prominent African American female coaches online and the one that I resonated with, Abiola Abrahms, announced a “Manifest your Destiny” retreat in Paris (www.goddessofparis.com if you want more information). I pulled my credit card out and registered for the retreat on the spot. I was searching for something, anything to snap me out of the funk I was in. I didn’t know how to do it on my own. When I heard about what this retreat could do for me and how I could create my destiny, my soul leaped.
The trip to Paris was a huge deal for me. It meant I would travel across the world, alone, and meet up with women I didn’t know. I had a lot of anxiety about the trip, but the one thing that kept running through my head was, if I keep on this same track doing the same thing, I’m going to keep getting what I’m getting. What I was getting; sadness, depression, anxiety, loneliness, I didn’t want anymore.
I took that leap of faith, and boy am I happy I did. I met some of the most incredible women I’ve ever met. Abiola, the leader/facilitator, was the truth. With each session held, we peeled back a layer of doubt and disbelief within ourselves. We learned we’re not alone in what we face daily. We learned that we are enough, just the way we were. And of course just running around the city of Paris, carefree, something that I’ve wanted to do ever since I was thirteen years old, did a sister good!
I’m back literally and figuratively. I’m ready to conquer the world again. I’ve healed. I’ve got my confidence back. I’m renewed! My dear sisters and brothers, do what you have to do to awaken your spirit, the very essence that makes you, you. Don’t worry about what your friends or family would say. This is your life, and you have to live it the best way that you see fit for yourself.
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